typical SIU runaround.

Annoyingly enough, my 102 class meets in a different location on Wednesdays, specifically, in the ASA building. I did not know how to even get to this building until early Wednesday morning, but managed to find the classroom after ending up in the Engineering Building main office, a courtyard, the dental clinic, etc. (This was somewhat serendipitous, though, as I've been meaning to schedule a dental appointment, and now I have!) I had made two lesson plans for this day, as I was not sure if I would be in a computer classroom. Happily, it was a 'SMART' classroom, but the podium was locked. Usually, one can procure a key at a nearby office or desk, so I went to a nearby office, only to learn that I would have to get the key at the... library. Which isn't across campus or anything, but not close by any means. So, I'm like, "I have to go to the library before EACH Wednesday class!?" and she's like, "No, you'll get a key to hold onto for the semester," which is fine and all, but I was hoping to teach on the computer that day. I had a PowerPoint presentation and everything! So, instead, I blabbered on about arguments and whatever the fuck else is in chapter two of Everything's an Argument. I'm sure the students would have preferred the PowerPoint presentation to my rambling, as well :) So, I've been trying to get in touch with this computer guy at the library, but we keep missing each other. And then the classroom I teach in on Mondays and Wednesdays was 90 degrees (no exaggeration; the thermostat told me so) on the first day, so I'm just truly blessed with my classrooms this semester. I'm thinking layering is in my future... teaching in a cashmere sweater the other day was disastrous, as I was profusely sweating in front of 20 disinterested, and most likely, disgusted, students. I continue to amaze myself daily with my poise and sophistication. 

thank you, Mrs. Judy Aufdenberg

I received a copy of Reader's Digest in my mailbox the other day, something I found weird, as I really didn't realize they existed outside of doctor's office waiting rooms. I assumed it was one of those free trials or something, until I saw that on the back of the magazine, it stated, "Mrs. Judy Aufdenberg of Jackson, MO sends good wishes to you with this new one-year, Reader's Digest gift subscription. Enjoy this gift and best wishes throughout the year. Happy Holidays!" The magazine was addressed to one Mr. Brian D. Roth at Apartment 3 on 404 E. Main St., DeSoto, IL. My boyfriend's last name is Roth, but he is Michael W., not Brian D. We also live in Apartment 3 of our building, but not on Main St. (although the address is quite similar: 407 instead of 404). Also, I do not know anyone from Jackson, MO, and certainly no Judy Aufdenberg (although I must admit her gift was quite generous). Isn't that weird? At first, when I saw the 'Roth' on the address label, I assumed it was from one of his relatives sending a (poorly-chosen) gift, but I suppose there is another Roth about town, bereft of a Reader's Digest subscription from a well-intentioned aunt or grandmother (you have to admit, a Reader's Digest subscription seems like a rather grandmotherly gift). In any case, I suppose I'll enjoy my free subscription and hope that this mail person's error doesn't result in some rift in the Aufdenberg/Roth family.

JD

Something I've noticed in grad school is that whenever I email people, they sign with their initials: "Yours, AW;" "Cheers, BS;" etc. (On a side note, I hate the 'cheers'... we're not drinking. What is that?!) And I feel somewhat out of place, and possibly even child-like, responding "Julie." Did I miss something in PSW? Are we to use our initials in place of our names now? I just find it so odd. Is it considered to be less formal than signing, "Dr. So-and-So?" Perhaps this is flagrantly obvious, or perhaps I'm even creating some conspiracy which does not exist. But I feel like I'm the only motherfucker out there who signs her emails, etc., with her actual first name, yet I simply do not want to blindly follow suit and start signing 'JD.' Any help? Or am I just crazy?

... I probably am just crazy, as I still have a good amount of writing left to do, and a good amount of writing behind me. Some of my hard work recently paid off (specifically, in Shakespeare), so I'm hoping that trend will remain in place for my other courses. Wish me luck! (or sanity, whichever).

It's official - I'm depraved.

When I bartend, I tend to watch a lot of game, one of which being "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" One of the questions posed yesterday was, "Which of these businesses is usually ran by children?" and I answered (audibly), "Chimney sweeps!" And then the possible choices were revealed, of course, not including chimney sweeps, but instead, lemonade stands. I conclude, not only that I'm utterly depraved, but that I've read entirely too much William Blake and Victorian novels. 

STFU, Matthew McConaughey

Those of you who "MySpace" like I do are probably well-acquainted with the promotions on the log-in page for features on MySpace - namely celebrities, movies, music, etc. When I logged in tonight, I was greeted by one of my least favorite celebrities - Matthew McConaughey - and his pithy philosophy of j.k.livin' (which stands for 'just keep livin'). So now he's not just promoting his shirtlessness or his shitty movies, but his own philosophy. Sure, he's a college grad, so he's educated and whatnot, but remember that this j.k.livin' doctrine stems from his lines as the character of Wooderson in Dazed and Confused. Surely, I love D&C, but really? A philosophy based upon the fictional creepy statutory rapist you played over ten years ago? And then, it's like I just want to punch him for giving me this unsolicited stoner surfer philosophy, not to mention that millions of others that use MySpace daily who do not have the ways and means to access that stress-free surfer lifestyle. Sure, we'd all like to j.k.livin', live in a trailer (by choice), do peyote, and surf the world, but some of us have jobs to do and situations we cannot escape. I can't make a strong argument for my own strife, and I won't pretend that my life isn't cake compared to most others, but I do admit it is somewhat maddening to have Matthew McConaughey preaching at me to 'just relax.' Put a shirt on, Matthew McConaughey, stop telling me to relax, and stop selling these:

where's Phyllis Schlafly when you need her?

This year, my office assignment was changed to the fourth floor of Faner Hall, amongst the Administration of Justice Department, some linguistics GA offices, and Dr. Zimra's lair. Nearby, is a 'unisex' bathroom, which confounded me and somewhat alienated me for quite some time. Wow, Faner and SIU is quite innovative, I thought, and truly embodying Phyllis Schlafly's worst nightmare. So, finally, I decided to use the unisex bathroom one day, to learn that it is not truly a unisex bathroom (Phyllis Schlafly, you can officially unbunch your knickers) and that it is instead, a bathroom with flexible guidelines. Before you enter, you must hang your respective gender's sign on the door, indicating whether a woman or a man is using the washroom (and doncha love it: the women's sign is pink, and the men's is yellow). Another sign claims that being conscious of the sign is the only way that the unisex bathroom will 'truly work.' So, you really are not entering a true unisex bathroom. But I would go on to argue that it is not really a unisex bathroom, but rather a men's bathroom that allows women, sometimes. You see, there are no receptables for used 'feminine hygiene' products (my favorite euphemism). Instead, us menstruating women must take the used products and/or wrappers outside of the stall and throw them into a garbage can, outside of the privacy provided by the stall. In every standard women's bathroom, there are containers provided for this type of thing within the stall. So, this really isn't a unisex bathroom - I mean, in a women's bathroom, I'm provided with the opportunity to not announce to everyone that I am in fact menstruating. I'm given a little privacy. I just want the same from the said 'unisex' bathroom. Is that so much to ask? Really.

a slight vituperation for fickle/fairweather Cubs fans...

I realize that Saturday was devastating, yes. And that the Cubs can lead to feelings of anger, disappointment, rage, melancholy, and psychological distress. I can certainly commiserate with all of you. But that is really no excuse to not only swear off baseball itself, but switch to the other side: the Chicago White Sox. Sure, their Saturday win offered a slight glimmer of hope, and maybe that was what you all needed to cling on to life and not throw it all away. But switching to the other side is NOT what you do. Claiming you're just a general 'Chicago' fan is NOT what you do. Let me illustrate this for you: let's say, you have a child who runs track. He/she is rounding the track, making promising headway, and BAM! falls over and breaks his/her leg. Do you start to cheer for the kid who lives in your neighborhood, merely because he/she is still in the race and you want to 'see someone from your area' win? No. You help your kid and cheer loudly AGAINST the neighbor kid, hoping that he/she breaks their leg as well (and hopefully, breaks both at the same time). I don't want to hear any more bullshit about people wanting to return their Cubs jerseys, or cheering for the White Sox next year because they got one more measly game than the Cubs. Because, after all, there's only one thing worse than a Sox fan: a fickle or fairweather Cubs fan who switches to the other side.