STFU, Matthew McConaughey

Those of you who "MySpace" like I do are probably well-acquainted with the promotions on the log-in page for features on MySpace - namely celebrities, movies, music, etc. When I logged in tonight, I was greeted by one of my least favorite celebrities - Matthew McConaughey - and his pithy philosophy of j.k.livin' (which stands for 'just keep livin'). So now he's not just promoting his shirtlessness or his shitty movies, but his own philosophy. Sure, he's a college grad, so he's educated and whatnot, but remember that this j.k.livin' doctrine stems from his lines as the character of Wooderson in Dazed and Confused. Surely, I love D&C, but really? A philosophy based upon the fictional creepy statutory rapist you played over ten years ago? And then, it's like I just want to punch him for giving me this unsolicited stoner surfer philosophy, not to mention that millions of others that use MySpace daily who do not have the ways and means to access that stress-free surfer lifestyle. Sure, we'd all like to j.k.livin', live in a trailer (by choice), do peyote, and surf the world, but some of us have jobs to do and situations we cannot escape. I can't make a strong argument for my own strife, and I won't pretend that my life isn't cake compared to most others, but I do admit it is somewhat maddening to have Matthew McConaughey preaching at me to 'just relax.' Put a shirt on, Matthew McConaughey, stop telling me to relax, and stop selling these: